just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
