So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
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