im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
