ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
