I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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