I'm really into asian looking animals
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
