so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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