i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
