just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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