Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she told me i tasted like america
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
