this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
