I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
