therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
