i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
