in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
