is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sorry about my life...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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