I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
