I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
