Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
