I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
