My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
