I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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