Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
