Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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