The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
