i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think my moral compass just broke
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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