it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
