is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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