We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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