Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
