When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
