Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
