Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
