just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
