i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
