people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
