Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Can I color on your dick again?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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