We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
