Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
