Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
