Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
