She is in my trunk
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
