I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
