I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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