I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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