Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
