dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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