He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
