yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
