your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
