I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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