Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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