I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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