At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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