Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
