Welp...herpes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
